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Sizing up the DNC field

The impeachment trial continues to an ever shrinking audience.

Many viewers already have lost two or three inches in height as they get the sinking feeling this thing will never end. To liven things up, maybe Schiff can get President Donald John Trump to ride in a white Bronco in a slow motion chase by the Capitol Police.

People suspect the timing of this hideous mockery of justice is timed to keep Bernie and Warren from campaigning in Iowa. The argument is this allows Joe Biden to expose himself to the voters of Iowa.

If I were his campaign manager, that would be the last thing I would want to happen. The more they get to know Joe, the more they realize he is not a president.

But he is the front-runner now. 'Tis his race to lose. He is up to the challenge.
That is his granddaughter.

Putting aside his creepiness, the bribes he arranges for his family, and that he is a doddering fool, Biden is a weathervane politician who has gone along with whatever happens to catch the fancy at any particular moment of Democrat focus groups.

He entered the Senate sucking up to the surviving segregationists. 47 years later, he is one speech away from backing reparations. Some say he has evolved. I say he represents all that is wrong with politics. But the man survives. He goes on to the next election, carrying his coke-addicted surviving son and his ne'er-do-well family members along to pocket crooked million-dollar deals.

If nominated, he will represent the swamp in its battle against the Swamp Drainer Trump.

Mini Mike has a very good shot at the nomination because his billionaire status, his TV ads, and his devotion to gun confiscation are admirable in the eyes of the Super Delegates who will decide who wins.

If Biden fails, they will pass over Bernie again and go with Mini Mike.

His downside is he is unlikeable. Unlike President Trump, Bloomberg has no connection to most Americans. So far Mini Mike has avoided campaigning. This is to his detriment because he needs the practice. They love him in Manhattan.

If nominated, he will represent elitists in their battle against the Populist Trump.

Bernie is next up. He is a throwback to 1950s communism, in short, a Stalinist. Like Biden, Bernie has used public office to enrich a family member, his wife. He does have Hillary's seal of disapproval, which helps. This gives him the aura of what might have been if only Democrats had not nominated Her.

If nominated, he will represent communism in its battle against the Capitalist Trump.

Elizabeth Warren is everything that is wrong with feminism. She lies. A lot. She is a preachy schoolmarm who eschews makeup and fashion. She needs help from Naomi Wolf.

Warren also believes that like Hillary, she is entitled to the highest office in the land because she is a woman.

To Warren's credit, she understands that being an introverted scold turns off voters. She has worked on it, but overcompensated by being goofy.

If nominated, she will represent evil estrogen in its battle against the Toxic Testosterone Trump.

Alfred E. Neuman is propped up by the Gay Mafia's donations.

If nominated, he will represent inexperience in its battle against the CEO Trump.

Andrew Yang is an Asian-American who is quite likeable, having fun, and perhaps he has some good ideas. The debate moderators starve him of times.

If nominated, he will represent the unknown in its battle against the Ubiquitous Trump.

Finally, Tom 2020 just does not get it. I call him Tom 2020 because my apolitical wife watching his ad asked me what his last name is.

He suffers the delusion that he can buy enough media to stop Donald Trump. But Donald Trump has been around for 40 years. Americans know him. Tom 2020? What's his last name?

Plus his ads look like he is running for governor.

If nominated, Tom 2020 will represent the fool and his money against the Moneywise Trump.

The chief problem for the DNC nominee is President Trump carried 30 states in 2016 and Democrats have done nothing to convert those voters while Donald Trump has expanded his base.

When Hillary called them deplorable, she locked Trump supporters out of the Democrat Party forever.

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